Christians in Cinema

Comedian, Author, Songwriter - It’s Probably Just My Thyroid

Catching up with Anita Renfroe is no easy task. When we did, she was on vacation in Florida. Taking a break from sunning herself on the beach, Anita talked with us about the whirlwind that has been her life for the past 4 years…

Angela: Anita, how’s your suntan?

Anita: Actually, it’s raining right now, so I guess we’ll have to stay in. I only came to appreciate the beach as an adult. I really prefer looking at the ocean from a 7th-story window. My husband knows not to take me to the actual sand. Keep me away from the lotion, jellyfish, and saltwater!

I’ve learned not to judge what God is doing by my performance.

Angela: Since you’re not tanning & it’s raining, what are you doing?

Anita: My husband John is working on travel arrangements right now. I used to have a receptionist, but she’s not with us any more. So John & I are both trying to keep up with the office. God hasn’t brought us to a place of being able to hire someone, so we fill the orders, book the concerts, arrange the travel – EVERYTHING! Right now, our motto is “Keep it small, keep it all.” I wish I had more help because I’m a little controlling and disorganized; I want things done, but I don’t want to do them. I’m too creative to pull it off.

I focus really well on a project (book, DVD, etc.) because it’s short-term. I’m a very circular thinker, so I have piles of things here and there. What I need is an organization system designed that way. John is a linear thinker – he’s easily distracted. He has lots of lists, but will he finish his list? Who knows? He might need to do the yard in the middle of making travel arrangements. I always want him to feel the freedom to do manly yardwork because he’s completely surrounded by women; at home and at our concerts.

Angela: John hasn’t always been part of your concerts, has he?

Anita: No. We’ve been married 24 years (years full of hot monogamy!), and for 20 years he was a pastor. You know, he turns 50 this year, and I can honestly say that he’s hotter than he’s ever been. He gets better-looking every day! My daughter’s friends think he’s an Armani model! I tell them to “Back off!” (this was accompanied by a karate move!)

I was writing, singing and playing the piano. I lead worship at women’s conferences and occasionally said something funny to lighten up the moment in a heavy time. Not a lot of women were really doing “Christian comedy”; it just wasn’t on the radar at the time. But the closer I got to 40, the more authentic I felt I needed to be. God began to reveal a side of me that I barely knew He could use.

About 4 years ago John told me he wanted to come help me, to support me in ministry. He saw that God was blessing what I was doing, and believed we should take a leap in this direction. It’s a totally different form of ministry than we’ve had our whole lives. We’re together 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, and our marriage is happier and stronger than ever. Of course, there are certain hours that get subtracted from the equation. The hour we’re trying to get to the airport, the hour before going onstage – we both know we shouldn’t count those hours when judging the happiness of our union! The blessing is that John breathes every breath with me. He’s back there with the tech crew, and when I feel the Lord leading the program in a different direction than what we’ve rehearsed, I don’t have to worry. I know that John can tell where we’re going. It’s amazing! It really takes the stress off.

Angela: What about the rest of your family? Do they travel with you as well?

Anita: No – they each have lots of stuff going on themselves. Our son Calvin graduates college in December – he’s a football player. Austin is also in college, and he’s a musician – plays the guitar. Elyse, our youngest, is an incredibly mature 16-year-old. Since she was 6 years old I’ve been speaking and singing on the road. She has heard lots of great teaching at women’s conferences, and I think it’s accelerated her maturity. It’s been interesting watching her through the growing-up process because I’ve only had good clarity about my life in the last 10 years. I try but can’t begin to imagine what her life will be like in a few years. I have learned that I can’t control the outcome of her life, so I just pray that we are friends as adults. I want her to have a strong sense of self and of purpose, and to have a strong belief system. That will make me a happy mom!

Angela: Does she enjoy your comedy?

Anita: Only until I have to ground her. That’s not funny. Truthfully, the stuff that happens at home is way funnier than onstage. John & I have intentionally tried to build a culture of laughter at home. I’d much rather my kids remember me as the mom who laughed until milk came out her nose. We laugh all the time – with each other, at each other, in spite of each other…. Every day we can make a choice; either for hilarity or insanity. I’d rather choose hilarity, and hilarity without self-importance.

Angela: What about your own role as a daughter?

Anita: That really changed 10 years ago. My mom moved in with us, and it’s been wonderful and spiritually disciplining. I’ve had to learn what it means to “Honor your mother” on a daily basis. There’s a difference between honoring and kowtowing. We do a lot of kowtowing in Christianity. Before, my relationship with her was kind of hit and run. Something would happen, I would let it build up inside, and one day just blurt it all out. I’ve learned to live more honestly because we have to see each other at the breakfast table.

We have to deal with things, and can’t afford to have things back up. It’s been very wonderful, purifying, fabulous, and awful. It’s a very complex relationship between mother and daughter – and it’s all part of God’s incredible design.

Angela: What is it like to make your living going out on a stage with the pressure to make people laugh? People come to your concerts expecting to laugh. Do you ever feel like you might have let them down?

Anita: First, I have to tell you that the stage is my “happy place”. I love it! I’m 44 years old, and I can’t imagine doing anything more energizing. God’s grace is that I can’t wait to get to the microphone and begin. I don’t have to pray for grace to do it because I love it! I’ve been traveling and speaking for 10 years, and I can honestly say that “dead” concerts have been few and far between.

I’m authentic about who I am, and women seem to respond to that. There have been less than 5 concerts that weren’t a good fit culturally, and there were a couple that I approached with a bad attitude. It happened in my early years when I was insecure. I’m so thankful that our God is a Redeemer, because even after those concerts I received letters from women who received encouragement. So I’ve learned not to judge what God is doing by my performance.

I also know that the Holy Spirit does a great job interpreting between the speaker’s words and the hearers’ ears – just like He did at Pentecost. I pray that He will take the edge off of something that might offend any listeners, and He does! I think humor is His “stealth tool” because I can see people relax physically; they unfold their arms, relax, and open up to the beauty of the Kingdom. I do my show so that 90% of it will track with believers and unbelievers. That then gives me the right to share directly about my faith. So laughter opens the door, truth comes in, and seeds sneak into the soft places of the heart.

I tell people that my comedy is entertainment with a purpose. I encourage women to bring unbelieving friends because comedy opens the door for all kinds of conversations. My hope is that it starts great conversations on the way home.

Angela: What advice would you give someone who wants to pursue a path similar to yours?

Anita: To submit. God told Paul not to kick against the pricks. In other words, God has hard-wired all of us in a unique way, and if we try to do something different, it will be like kicking a cactus. It may take a few years and going through many different things to figure out what that unique thing is. That’s OK! If our goal is to make the strongest impact we can for the Kingdom, then we need to be open to what God has for us. He may have us in a training place – He will redeem it and use us in that place. Our responsibility is to be excellent and do our best at everything God brings before us. The tricky thing about Kingdom life is you don’t really know when you’remaking an impact for the Kingdom – sometimes it is in the very small things and you may never know when or even see it coming.

Angela: Anita, thank you so much for your time and the laughter! Enjoy the rest of your vacation.